What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
