Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize