You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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