You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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