Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
