We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
