Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
