Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
