I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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