I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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