Duck Duck Cougar?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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