it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I am available for nakedness
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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