Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
