yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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