So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
