It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
