i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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