He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
