Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
