1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
