he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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