My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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