doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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