Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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