SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
