Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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