Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
