google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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