Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
