Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
