just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
