I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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