ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize