Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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