It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize