Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
