its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
