i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
