she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
