dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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