Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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