Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
