who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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