I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
How's work?
Spinning.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
