do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
