I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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