Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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