someone threw a dead crab at me
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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