i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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