i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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