I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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