you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
me + whiskey = a bad person
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
