Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize