His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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