Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
