the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
